I’ve been blogging for three years, and I am still baffled at the fact that thousands of people ask me the same question over and over again.
My dating advice readers–primarily women in their twenties and thirties–want to know: Will he come back?
This blows my mind, because they are often asking this question by leaving a comment on my blog post titled “Your Confused Boyfriend Will Come Back.” Honey, I just said he will come back! How much clearer can you get than that?!
With my admissions coaching clients–primarily men aged 23-30–the one question that I get asked by every single client I’ve ever had is:
Am I good enough to get in?
Last week, I was talking with a close friend from Harvard about her new boyfriend who adores her.
“Are you just so excited?!” I squealed during our girl talk session.
“I’m mostly confused,” my friend replied. “After all these years of relationships not working out with guys I really liked, I’m so surprised to find a guy that loves everything about me, the real me.”
I was astounded by my friend’s answer. This fabulously smart, beautiful, and fun woman was confused that she’d found a great guy who really understands her and loves everything about her?!
“Do you think that you may be feeling a little unworthy of this type of love?” I inquired.
Few of you on this list know it, but two years ago, I auditioned for the chance to have my own talk show on Oprah’s new cable network, OWN. The casting agents loved me. They called me back for a second audition on camera for the producers, and then I never heard from them again. I was disappointed, and really confused. I craved feedback, but also didn’t take the step to ask for any.
I’m loathe to admit it, but somewhere deep inside, I felt a sense of vindication when just a few months later, rumors started circulating that OWN was struggling. Maybe if they had a fresh, new voice, people would watch, I thought scornfully. It’s an ugly and small-minded way to think, I know, but it’s really how I felt.